Paper Recycling Eco-Cat
My cat, Jed, is a rock climbing, tight-rope walking, spelunking adventurist.
He climbs the stone fireplace, balances on the balcony rail, and curls into any dark cavernous hole he can find, from unzipped suitcases under the bed to the crawl space under the living room.
And he’s eco-friendly too…
I dug this footage out of the can to demonstrate. (Volume is must.)
Cat Murders Toilet Paper, Evidence Left in Sink
It’s been months since our little killer cats tore innocent rolls of white, fluffy toilet paper sheet from sheet without mercy. Months, I say. I suppose that’s why we let our guard down. That was a mistake.
Jed has been plotting the perfect moment for a stealth attack. He struck with precision recently, opening the cabinet, pulling an unsuspecting roll from within like a raccoon raiding a chicken coop, jumping up to the bathroom counter to laze in the coolness of the basin as he slowly plucked and spit out pieces from his kill…
Cats Learn Magnetic Poetry
If animals could speak our language, what would they say? Now we know.
Our cats found a way to communicate – using magnetic poetry. And with the mastering of this poetic persuasion came a surprising request for an item believed to spark further communication.
Rest assured, fostering feline creativity is not my desire. These cats already outsmart me on a daily basis. I need no more of that. Besides, this request is just plain unhealthy…
What’s on your cat’s mind?
Gremlins in our Midst
As a young child, I often feared creatures lurking in dark shadows. My bedroom closet ran under the eaves of the roof and into the depths of the attic. Here lived a number of gruesome, horrific beasties – monsters that scared the bejeezus out of me.
My father claimed they were squirrels.
Only the light kept the monsters at bay. After dark, I’d hit the switch, get a running start and leap to the safety of my lace canopy bed. I had to keep my feet away from the edge. This kept the gremlins from dragging me to the underworld by my ankles. Obviously. Each morning proved it so.
Sometimes the wind howled off the murky waters of Lake Erie. The skeleton white branches of the birch would scrape and claw at my window. Or was it the birch? I’d lay in my bed, covers overhead, eyes squinched shut against the darkness as I wished away the demons.
Today I turn 40. Not much has changed. But with age comes wisdom and I know this to be true. My father was wrong.
The gremlins aren’t squirrels and they are very, very real.
Boo.
Bad Cats are Happening in the Dark
Have I walked straight into a science fiction film? After unearthing old footage of my cats, I can’t help but recall The Fly (1986) and it’s famous line “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
One dark and dreary night, the sounds of shuffling, scratching, and gluttonous chewing grew louder from the unlit corners of our home. I crept closer with trepidation and hurried to flick on the light. In the harsh halogen glare, a failed science experiment lay strewn about our kitchen floor.
I watched with horror as two distinct beings merged into a genetically-balanced fusion of cat and feed bag, each wrestling with the other to retain identity. This was no Brundlefly. This was worse. This, my friends, was a violently ravenous Kibblecat.
The transformation happened so quickly, I could hardly catch my breath. In mere seconds, all that was left of Jed was his tail.I feared for his life but stood helpless. Only Jackson knew how to reverse the calamity …
Could Jackson save Jed, extricating his brother from the feed bag once and for all? Or will the Kibblecat swallow Jed whole? Watch “Bad Cats are Happening in the Dark” and find out for yourself!
‘Tis the season for horror and hell cats… How are yours celebrating the ghoulish holiday?
Parental FAIL
Okay, so…
We, as the parental units to a pair of persistent cats, know several behavioral issues that should make life easier if we heed that knowledge and use it wisely.
- We know that our cats have a love affair with plastic wrap.
- We know that our cats are insatiably curious.
- We know that our cats enjoy heights like, say, the top of the fridge.
So, why did this happen?
This happened because a tempting box of Ritz Crackers was left, in plastic sleeves of glory, on top of said fridge for all cats to see, confiscate, and shred.
Cat Turns Monster Over Treat Bag
Our little Jedi cat, an otherwise loving, affectionate, bundle of fur who squirms like a Slinky on his back at the slightest touch, has recently laid bare another side of his personality.
The problem started when Jed discovered that food comes in crinkly plastic bags. He’d lurk in dark corners and take notes as my unsuspecting husband, settling in for a relaxing night of crime show TV, ripped open the Chips A’hoy.
Jed often practices what he’s learned and the hunt has become his life’s mission. He has been known to climb the fridge to find security vulnerabilities, launching loaves of bread to his recognizance team – his brother Jackson – below. He darts for pasta on low pantry shelves each time the door is opened. He even launched himself into the freezer to sink his teeth into a bag of frozen corn. Whether sealed, stored in the furthest recesses of a cupboard or secured behind 5 inch thick doors of steel, our very determined Jed will find what he’s after.
Cat Learns Good Housekeeping
I’m not much of a housekeeper. Sure, I sweep, mop, vacuum and dust, but ironing isn’t a big deal and when those dust elephants roll out from under the couch to greet guests, I offer little more than a hello and a giggle.
Tim asked me to iron a couple of shirts one day while he took the recycling to the transfer station. Hurried for a trip, it was the perfect way to economize our time. While ironing isn’t my favorite activity, I suspect I had much more fun than Tim did.
Chaos: Cat Style
Chaos. It’s inevitable. We simply cannot be in control of every moment of every day.
A perfect example? My cats, Jackson and Jed, sleep on me while I work unless they find something interesting to do. “Interesting” typically means “trouble.”
J & J have been known to steal and eat a bag of egg noodles, chocolate chip cookies, and other valuable finds. They stir up bird feathers, eat them and throw up, dangle from the loft, tear open bags of dog food and free feed the entire pet family …
One quiet and catless day, I asked myself, “What could they be into now?” This video was my answer. (Rest assured, the recycling bag was intact that morning.)
The Honest Kitchen Cat
The dogs have been eating their favorite food from The Honest Kitchen for a few months now. As the scent of wholesome, healthy stew wafts through the air, they sit patiently knowing that all good things come in time. If you haven’t seen our dogs’ reaction at meal time, check out “Honest Kitchen Dogs” on YouTube.
Bottom line? They couldn’t be happier and we couldn’t either. Knowing that our boys are eating free range, hormone and antibiotic free meat as close to raw as possible in this household, well, that’s a holistic approach we vegetarians can get behind.
The thing is, that’s not why I’m writing. My real reason for this post is to show you my cat’s reaction to the Honest Kitchen. It seems Jed, our youngest, is pretty happy with THK too. In fact, all he needs is the box for dinner!
So, what’s in your kitchen?
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