It’s been months since our little killer cats tore innocent rolls of white, fluffy toilet paper sheet from sheet without mercy. Months, I say. I suppose that’s why we let our guard down. That was a mistake.

Jed has been plotting the perfect moment for a stealth attack. He struck with precision recently, opening the cabinet, pulling an unsuspecting roll from within like a raccoon raiding a chicken coop, jumping up to the bathroom counter to laze in the coolness of the basin as he slowly plucked and spit out pieces from his kill…

Toilet Paper Heist 1

That’s when I found him. The damage had already been done.

Toilet Paper Heist 2

It appears that Jackson, who arrived after I did, had no prior knowledge of Jed’s mission. As I grabbed the camera to document the scene, he launched his own investigation.

Toilet Paper Heist 3

Toilet Paper Heist 4

The carnage was everywhere. Jed was surely implicated. Jackson, being a protective brother and pal, told Jed to beat feet and get the hell out of here.

Toilet Paper Heist 5

Jed and Jackson are now on the lam.

Toilet Paper Heist 6

Is this is comedy or tragedy? The jury is still out. What say you, people of This One Wild Life?