Shredder DogEmmett, previously a destructo-dog of the hound variety, has finally abandoned his penchant for shredding. Unlike the 3 previous fabric sheaths found gutted in the lawn, a single sun room throw pillow remains half stuffed on the corner chair. It has been there for 2 months. Although it may seem odd to keep a tattered piece of fabric as it perpetually bleeds white stuffing across the corner seat, this wounded survivor holds a place of honor as our last bastion of hope, a trophied testament to the freedom and safety of all household items, whether throw rugs, towels, socks, blankets, underwear or Keith Urban concert tickets. (I know, I know. I should just let this go already.)

Shredding MachineYes, the “Cease and Desist” order has finally reached the shredding center of Emmett’s sweet little brain. Still, he enjoys the slightest idea of destruction, living vicariously while watching the kittens reinterpret the definition of a living room pillow fight. And, sadly, I fear it won’t be long before the [now enormous] kittens take over Emmett’s former role. If you watch carefully, I swear you’ll see Emmett whispering instructional pointers to his little minions.